No key for the room - I had to find a staff member every time I needed access, so the idea of visiting the spa and being locked out for 15 minutes whilst searching the hotel was a no-no.
The 'King Size Bed' was in fact two singles pushed together with a very hard ridge on both edges no-one could sleep on.
There was no hot water both in the evening and morning, wherever the shower was set. I thought the unmarked shower was temperamental until the temperature varied from cold to lukewarm and back whilst I was rapidly showering, hence the evidence of lack of hot water at the peak time.
The £200 rack rate does not include a full breakfast. One can choose from three items - I had one sausage, one piece of bacon and one egg. I was offered tea or coffee, and when I chose the latter I was directed to the end of the queue for the single coffee machine for the whole busy breakfast service.
My colleagues who stayed at the Travelodge and Premier Inn were quite literally laughing at this stay which would have been poor and fundamentally failure to deliver a basic hotel service, if it were a local guesthouse - at a 4 star hotel, absolutely shocking.